Well, Hello 2015!

2014 has been a really good year. I think it all came down to a few things. I was surrounded by amazing people who brought me up with them, I felt better in my own skin and got a greater sense of my identity, and I learnt to go with the flow a bit more.

Before I get into the resolution stuff, I think this is a pretty good time to reflect. I know I'm three days late, but I've had to write applications these last weeks (only one left -- Johns Hopkins -- and then I'm DONE!!!!) In saying that, as hellish as applications and essays have been, it's been a pretty darn insightful experience. The questions themselves are worded to reveal something about you to the admissions officers. Of course, in doing so, you come to discover things through the extensive amounts of reflection you're forced to go through.

Maybe my bullshit is just so good that I convinced myself along the way, but I really started to value the opportunities given to me a lot more by writing about them. I don't think I've ever appreciated choir as much as I have this year -- granted, this year I definitely felt more confident in the environment being a Year 13. More on that later. I'm still not very good with structures, as you can see. Anyway... Choir is a true testament to teamwork and commitment. It's given me back a love for music that I had never truly grasped until 2014. I've voluntarily gotten back to practicing piano every day because I love the feeling of making music and putting emotion into it. I'm pretty sure I'm better at piano now than I was when I passed Grade 8 in 2010 because now I actually enjoy it. Choir made me feel that. It's funny because I can actually remember the rehearsal it clicked for me. We were told to listen to the piano accompaniment of "Laudate" and just sing the tune in our minds whilst physically moving our arms like we were painting a picture. That shit worked man. I FELT that music in my bones and now I can get it back everytime I play piano. In saying this, I don't think I'll join choir in uni if I stay in Auckland. It's a pretty intense commitment and it'd probably fuck with my self-confidence surrounded by professional voice singers and etc in Chamber Choir....

OK this is going to be a long post wow. Next thing -- leadership. While I was down in the Coromandel (holy shit I never even thought to blog about the Coromandel omg I suck!) we had an intense 5-hour discussion. One of the topics that came up is how much we would miss St Cuths. I have a really freaking passionate love and appreciation for our school but others didn't feel the same attachment at all. For me, the constant brainwashing that Year 13s are leaders really worked because I felt like a leader and thus became one. I was more confident, more outspoken, more willing to show my true self to strangers and acquaintances. Becoming House Captain was such a major boost to my confidence because it was something I was voted into. But to be honest, being House Captain gave me so much grief and insecurity as well. It's hard to share a role with someone whose attitude is way different to yours and it created a lot of should-I shouldn't-I feelings. What felt good though, was being UN Youth High School Ambassador. Maybe it was because it was a role I didn't need to go through power struggles with but I feel like I got an equal amount of leadership experience working with UN Youth. I think what got me about it is that I actually felt like I was making a difference to the school community, like I really contributed something that was desperately missing before. To be honest, anyone could have done it, but for some reason no one did. I know I've gone on about this a lot, but the number of registrations for Model G8 after I was appointed as Ambassador was probably one of my proudest moments in High School. From zero STCC students ever at UN Youth events, there were suddenly 25 -- even more than Westlake Girls. It was crazy. When I was at Model Security Council, Denise's committee partner came up to me and told me that Denise was telling him what a good Ambassador I had been, helping everyone, starting this at St Cuths when no one else had. Just that simple remark of being appreciated made my fucking day, let me tell you. Similarly, when Soo told me that Mrs Evans regularly lauded my work as House Captain in her eco classes, I was fucking amazed because I thought I had always been shit. IDK, it's nice. These little boosts do so much for me and it's given me the confidence I needed to like... venture into the world and continue being the leader 6 years of STCC education has pushed me to become.

To be honest, I spent nearly all my lunchtimes in the school library reading room this year. I spent nearly all my afterschool afternoons in that library as well, mostly around exam seasons. I spent almost all my weekends at Uni General Library or Kate Edgars. And you know what? I never even minded. I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. Of course, much of the time I would be talking to people or on FB or slacking so maybe that's why I didn't feel overwhelmed by the lack of social interaction. I hung out with people in classes which was basically just as good as at lunchtimes. Maybe it wasn't the best way to spend my final year of high school but it was great for me.

Final thing: I learnt how to handle rejection. I'm so good at it now to the point where I'm kinda concerned I'm bordering on apathy. I guess it's a bit of a negative thing -- I'm so surrounded by amazing people that I've subconsciously put myself down a lot and compared myself to others, but I've sickenly become accepting of it all. I don't know whether this is a good or bad thing now that I think about it. I'm still happy, I just don't expect much from the big dreams I have. I still take advantage of opportunities and I still give myself high standards. I'm just ready to accept disappointment if it does hit because I've become realistic of these huge dreams I've had for so long.

OK, let's move on to last year's resolutions and see how fabulously I've failed them

1. Prioritise your school work.

Well this is possible -- after all, I've chosen reading room over common room but thinking about it now, I think that's mainly because I no longer know how to work at home. Home is actually such a huge distraction, I don't even know where the time goes. I think Uni is going to be good though because hopefully it'll be a new environment (aka out of Auckland?? fingers crossed!) so I'll be refreshed and won't keep old habits. So this is probably a half-half: prioritised my school work at school, but not at home. Oh also I talked a lot in class (all Cerys's fault) so maybe that detracts some points...

2. Get all 7s in exams. Get above 2200 in SATs.

YAY HALF ACHIEVED! Got above 2300 in SATs however I got some atrocious SAT II scores. Also I definitely did not get all 7s in exams. (fuck u french) NEXT!

3. Prepare for exams at least two months before. 

Hah ah ah ah a ha ha h a ha nah

4. Go to bed before 12am every night

Oh past Vicky you were so naive

5. Arrive early at school and 6. Start using the mornings. 

You know what I actually did this quite well through Terms 1 and 2 but like everyone, I lost a whole heap of steam in Term 3 and basically came late to class every.single.day. My leaver's quote is "Sorry! I was stuck in traffic..."

7. Get over the obsession with older men. 

I actually just fucking cracked up at this oh my god how desperately I failed. 2014 has been an interesting year in the Lachie saga and on 1/1/15 I fucked it all up lol let us never talk about this again WE ARE MOVING ON (i have to because the mere thought of him makes me want to curl up in a ball and punch myself for my stupidity) DON'T ASK!!! NEXT!!!!

8. Read more books, especially ones that will change your life. 

Man these resolutions were unrealistic. I did not have time for that shit. I guess Top Girls was pretty ok.

9. Meet new people, make more friends, keep the ones that make you happy and make you want to be a better person.

OK so this year I definitely met a lot of new people. I think I should rename 2014 as the year of networking. At Rotary National Science & Technology Forum I met a huuuuge bunch of science nerds I'll probably continue to be well acquainted with in biomed next year if I stay in Auckland. They are all ridiculously smart and I swear I counted 12 FB Statuses of people getting Auckland Uni Scholarships (and those dont even include the people who didn't post on FB about it!!!) also I swear most of them are DUXs and/or Head Prefects. Similarly, from UN Youth I met a huge group of people who are all going to be power players in the law and political fields (I swear half of them are Head Prefects/otw to becoming Head Prefects).

I definitely became closer with other people through IB and I drifted slightly away from others because of IB as well. I'm probably not the best at maintaining friendships because of the whole library-oriented social life so I definitely need to work on this for next year, especially with so many people leaving Auckland for uni.

10. Help out around the house more often. 

Sorry I'm a shit daughter :(

11. Try to improve others' lives. 

Definitely didn't do as much service as I wanted to this year but shit I hope UN Youth counts for something because that organisation definitely has the potential to improve loads of peoples' lives at our school.

12. Understand that rejection isn't the end of the world. 

Niiiiiiiiiiiiice. (See above huge paragraph on rejection.)


OK now that we have half-assedly reflected on last year's resolutions, let's make this years!

1. Go out more (aka live a more balanced lifestyle away from the screen.)

Yes, I realise this is an odd resolution to put on the top spot. But I've realised how much time slows down when I'm out and about with friends, being active, seeing shit.

(anecdote) Just today, I spent 5 hours out with Faizah and Nicole and it felt like so much more than it would at home with me staring at my laptop trying to write my JHU essay and procrastinating on FB instead. There was one day in particular which was insanely long it felt like a week and it felt so good. This was on our final day of IB exams -- Finished around 10 in the morning, went home, went to Nicole's, went to NM to catch a ride with Faizah, went to Lauren's for a end-of-exams celebration (POPPIN DAT MOËT), went to the beach 2 minutes down from Laurens, went to town to watch Catching Fire (the screen went black 20 mins in lol faizah and I both had instant reaction of crawling under seat bcs we immediately both thought of Batman shootings) and then watched Mockingjay midnight premiere. It was a L O N G day that only felt that way because of how eventful it was. I want every day to be like that.

So yeah. I can easily waste 5 hours alone at home, not even doing anything productive. Or I could go out with friends bcs life will feel a lot longer and more memorable that way.

2. Study everyday -- be ahead of class.

This is mainly because of motherfuckin biomed. This can't even be a "oh so unrealistic" kinda thing -- this is like... A MUST. No matter where I go, Auckland, Aus, or USA, this is a thing I actually have to stick to if I don't want to fail all my goddamn classes. Time to get productive.

3. Use your mornings and STOP procrastinating sleep!??!?

oh my god this is so important like there is no way to get all that study done if you don't start getting up early to study! How you sleep is so fucking weird Vicky like you should put that in your applications because you are a goddamn individual in this sense and it is SO BAD.

4. Begin working out

Sigh, you were doing so well towards the end of 2014 and it kinda just... stopped. But you know what? Working out and getting fit and healthy will make you feel more confident over your own body bUT ALSO ABOUT YOU AND YOUR CAPABILITIES!!! Sports make you feel good so why the frick do you not do it more? Laziness is soooo not an option, plus UNI BOYS U WANT TO HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO SATISFY UR THIRST U KNO WHAT IM SAYIN???????

5. Continue extracurriculars and continue to seek leadership roles

Since uni right now is unfamiliar terrain I'm sure you don't quite know what opportunities lie ahead of you. Whatever, grab all the opportunities you can and then really channel your energy onto 2 or maybe 3 of them. Do as many one-off service opportunities as you can because those never take too much time. Keep up these things as this is what you love -- being a part of things, being involved. Just because you have a rigorous course doesn't mean you have to give up what makes you you gurrrllll.

6. Keep up with friends

TBH I dont care how you do it -- lunch dates, facebook messages, twitter, whatever. You're shit at this and it's now as important as ever to make sure you don't lose those valuable friendships you've built over so many years.

7. Fake it till you make it: Make new friends

So you've had a bit of practice with this because of UN Youth but uni (mostly overseas) is pretty scary in the sense that yOU DON'T KNOW ANYONE!!! But tbh how is this "scary"? You love meeting new people and making new friends!!! You only think it's scary bcs it's the norm to think this is scary. All you need to fake is the confidence, and everything else will come smoothly along.

8. Take all opportunities

You know what? Email that professor about helping out in the lab. Talk to that person standing alone on campus. Join that club. Ask questions. Who cares that you're new? So is everyone else so fuckin inspire everyone to be as confident and determined as you.  OOH ALSO TALK TO THAT CUTE GUY YA HIM MAKE SOME EYE CONTACT GURL FLIP THAT HAIR

that reminds me....

9. For the love of God get over that certain choir director

SO MANY FISH IN THE SEA VICKY LET IT GO OH MY GOD

10. Journal More

May even start one on a different blog because this one is a little unsharable. But memories are so important and I really want to keep them stored somewhere. I won't daily blog, but I think I definitely should go back to recording significant events. Hell, I don't even have any posts about Grad or Leavers or anything!

AND OF COUUURSEEEEE HAVEEEE FUUNNN!!!! MAKE THE MOST OF 2015 WOOOH THIS IS THE START OF SOMETHING NEW IT'S EXCITING IT'S FULL OF POTENTIAL AND WE GON KILL IT, NO MATTER WHAT CONTINENT WE'RE ON!!! :D

A Welcome to 2014

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!! 

2013 has been an interesting year. I would say there have been many highs and lows and a lot of mediums as well. It's been a stressful year - in some aspects it's been a satisfying year, and for others it's been a regrettable year. I've enjoyed all my extracurriculars and I'm so happy I've gotten so involved with everything from debating to choir to habitat for humanity to dragon boating. In fact, I've realised that when it comes down to reflecting on your school life, as important as grades are, in the end they're just a number, or a mark, or an "endorsed with insert grade here". What really makes school interesting and worth it are the groups that you join, the sports that you play, the friends that you make. I've had lots of exciting new things happen to me and suffered through not only the gruelling recovery process of a life-changing jaw surgery but also the torturous stress of the IB. I've made great new friends, I've grown closer with so many people (thanks to IB lol), and I've freaked people out due to my infatuation with a certain older gentleman (WE'RE MOVING ON IN 2014, I SWEAR TO GOD).

In 2013 I was able to grow as a person a lot and flesh out my own moral compass and perspective on the world. A lot of this had to do with the people I surrounded myself with. I've had so many thought-provoking conversations and debates with friends over feminism/sexism, racism, the media, etc etc that I think have made me into a better person. I think school and it's emphasis on "service" and whatnot has really truly affected me a tonne in that it's one of those things I really want to do more of, and I've come to the realisation this year over how much the school has shaped me.

Good God that was cheesy, time to get to our yearly tradition: seeing how badly I failed at my resolutions! Note, I totally forgot what these resolutions even were.

• Don't look down upon anyone or have prejudices towards people.

I think this was something that was definitely really bothering me about myself towards the end of 2012, but it wasn't something I even thought about in 2013. I would hope that it's because I didn't do it as often but it may just be I wasn't aware, even if I did do it. I will say that in 2013 I (unintentionally) matured a lot and I would like to think I was friendlier to people at school in general even if they weren't someone I was particularly close with. I'm not sure how to reflect on this resolution considering I don't remember what specifically made me want to make it a resolution. Well, I hope I wasn't a snotty bitch to anyone (in my mind)???

• Learn to prioritise. Put school first.

Well, in the original blogpost, I specifically talked about prioritising school over tumblr, and I can say I've definitely done that, at least towards the end of 2013. Barely ever go on tumblr anymore and feel no need to get back into it. In terms of prioritising in general, have I told you the story of how my mum kept asking me how to pronounce "prioritise" one day in the supermarket? Yeah she asked me again two days ago, except she was asking so that she could tell my brother to prioritise real life over his league of legends shit. Anyway, I digress, I don't think I prioritised very well this year. A lot of the time I was lazy and chose to talk to people on facebook over sleep or over doing my homework that night. A lot of the time I fell into the youtube-videos abyss and a lot of the time I decided that my priorities lay in watching that new episode of insert tv show here. Yet towards the end of the year, around exam season I definitely did prioritise school and totally stopped watching all my shows, which I mean, yknw, it's okay, but I found other ways to waste my precious time anyway.

• Be willing to help others and go out of your way to help them.

You know what, even though I can't think of a specific instance I did this, I don't doubt that I did do it. That's not me being up myself, it's just in the context of how school has been this year and how close I've gotten with everyone in the IB cohort, it isn't unlikely I helped a brutha out. So, success?

• Arrive early at school every day.

YES, ONE I CAN PROBABLY DEFINITELY SAY I SUCCEEDED AT!!! I got zero, I repeat, ZERO "late because of traffic" late slips (i don't have a good memory, I may have had like, one) (however I was late to school a couple times in term 4 except teachers didn't bother sending me to get a late slip woohoo). I was really good in the first 3 terms of the year and would get to school at 8:15 and actually have time to talk to friends and whatever, but I began slipping after Big Sing I think and got into bad habits again. But overall, SUCCESS!!!!!!!

• Go to bed at 11pm-ish every night. Even on weekends. 

............. nope. maybe in the first term or something.

• All 7's in All Exams. Don't leave studying to the night before your exam.

Oh this is depressing. Did not get all 7s in all exams :'( This is actually really funny though because before I started IB I couldn't understand why getting 45 was so difficult, and a little part of me actually still thinks that if I put the effort in, I could get all 7s. But no, it didn't happen. And I definitely did leave the studying to the night before my exam. To be fair, I tried really hard, and term 4 was such a bitch and there was so much work every single night that even if I worked all evening and planned everything out, I still ran out of time to study anything. I guess I'll have to plan my study schedule for end of year exams this year from January onwards?

• Read books that will change your life and your views of the world.

Well, I read 1984. The books we study in class were pretty eye-opening. I've got a shitload of books out atm which will probably fuck with me for a long time.

• Exercise everyday for at least half an hour

Oh, past Vicky, you get me so bad.

• (one especially for the holidays) Get up before 11am four out of seven days a week

.... may...be...? Probably. I found 10am/11am to be the average time I would wake up in the holidays.

• Make the most out of 2013!

Fuck yeah I made the most of it!! I joined every extracurricular I wanted to join, I participated in every values project I wanted to be part of. I built a deck for habitat for humanity and (tried to) organise an Elgin build; I built and painted stone walls for stage challenged that humans fucking fit into and were one of the highlights of our show. I joined a dragonboating team that powered through as the underdogs and came in third and won my first medal for a sport. I was part of a debating team (the BEST debating team) that was a bloody semifinalist and only got knocked out by the winning team of the whole grade, and through that I gained so much confidence and had so much fun. I organised with Faizah a social netball team that always had missing players every week, but that eventually placed runner-up in its grade. I was a part of choir that placed silver at nationals but most importantly, I was a part of a choir where I made so many new friends and maintained so many of my old friendships. I applied to everything and got rejected by many, but it was worth it because I was accepted into a few. I got a PnF gold award that meant the world to me, and actually meant more to me than getting academic excellence because it was voted by my peers. I decided to completely switch subjects and drop something I hated (physics) for something that genuinely interests me (history) even despite the horrid essays and bullshit exams. I went to MUNA, and despite it being kinda shit, I made a good friend out of it. I went to Dunedin and I embarrassed myself a lot but I did everything knowing that I'd regret it more if I didn't (and embarrassing stories are always more fun to tell than "I wish I did this/that instead of missing my opportunity" stories) if ur not sure what I'm talking about, I'm referring to whEN I GRINDED AGAINST AND JAMMED WITH THE MAN WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED. I had a fantastic birthday where I felt so special and loved and I went to my first ball with my friends who I love and I had FUN. I FUCKING GOT A NEW FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, yeah, fuck yeah 2013. You weren't so bad after all.

Onto 2014:

• Prioritise your school work. Specifically, when you get home, don't go onto facebook, twitter, youtube, tumblr. No one's online during then anyway. Get all your work done first and see if you can get everything done before 7pm. After that, what you choose to do -- whether it be tv shows or studying -- is up to you. Organise your own freedom by eliminating guilt from that pressing notion in your head of "it's 9pm and I still haven't started any work". You'll thank me later.
• Get all 7s in exams. Get above 2200 in SATs. Fuck yeah you can do it.
• Prepare for exams at least two months before. In saying that, you still need "cram" sessions the night before because, well, they work. But prepare so that you actually feel confident when you enter that exam hall. You enjoy studying, you enjoy learning your curriculum, WHY DON'T YOU DO IT MORE OFTEN?
• Go to bed before 12am every night. It's good for your skin, it's good for your mind, it's good for your health, and it'll probably save you from hearing 30-or-so identical lectures from your mum.
• Arrive early at school. Aim for 0 late slips that are due to your sleeping-in this year.
• Start using the mornings. Study in the mornings, exercise, read, watch an episode of supernatural for all it matters. Having done something in the morning makes you feel that much better for the rest of the day. Why would you avoid doing something that makes you feel good?
• Get over the obsession with older men. This is kinda a joke resolution because you know that when Big Sing rolls around again in 2014 it's going to be a hormone-fuelled nightmare. MAYBE GET A BOYFRIEND INSTEAD, VICKY
• Read more books, especially ones that will change your life. 
• Meet new people, make more friends, keep the ones that make you happy and make you want to be a better person.
• Help out around the house more often. Mate, your parents are getting old, you should probably show more gratefulness towards them since they're the best friggin parents ever.
• Try to improve others' lives. This can be by charity work and doing service, or just by not being a dick to your friends.
• Understand that rejection isn't the end of the world. You're going to encounter many opportunities this year. Naturally, you're going to want to take advantage of those opportunities.You're going to be rejected by many of them, and that's okay. Don't let it get you down and don't take it personally. Don't let it stop you from applying to other things, joining other groups, meeting other people. 
• And as always, make the most of 2014!

two oh thirteen

Ahhh, it's that time of year again. And by "that time of the year", I mean, the glorious, promising beginning of a long and super busy 2013.

2012 was a great year for many, and a terrible year for some. For me, it was a pretty uneventful, fast 52 weeks full of a lot of late passes and stressful cramming of extracurriculars. Not to mention, the dreadful life-or-death decision of NCEA or IB.

But 2012 was also full of awesome memories like going to Wellington for choir nationals, and going to not one, not two, but three concerts (do flight of the conchords count? I'm saying they do), and turning the big ol' sweet sixteenth. Along with that, I've also developed and made some great friendships, and rekindled old ones, and best of all for the most part, I've been pretty satisfied with life, and think I've probably grown a lot as a person.

Sadly I have been seriously neglecting this blog and I have barely posted, with only 42 posts in 2012 compared to 100+ in both 2011 and 2010 whaaaat?! I think this year I might change my style of blogging slightly and perhaps use proper grammar and spelling for the most part. That doesn't mean I'm going to tone down the swearing and ramble-y tone, I just might start actually capitalizing words properly from now on, ha.

Well, let's get down to business, shall we? Here were 2012's new year's resolutions:

• All Excellences in both examinations (that means studying in the holidays....) 

I got all excellences in midterms, but not for term 3 mocks :'( curse you physics and calculus!!! I don't have results for NCEA yet nor do I want to have them... Ignorance is bliss, they say.

• Get a job and keep it so you have a steady income 

Well, that really didn't work. I'm still trying though. If you havent read my first job-hunting adventure,  read it here. Sadly, my second attempt at job hunting resulted in me missing a bus and turning up late for an orthodontist appointment where they tightened my braces and made life suckish again, but uh, I digress.

• Stop waking up after 12pm during the holidays cuz you waste your break away (this means not going to sleep at 5am every night!) 

........ Oops.

• Save money and use eftpos only for emergencies and gifts maybe. 

I think this worked for the most part? However, because of christmas, my bank account is once again, severely depleted and have I mentioned how much I really nEED A FUCKING JOB?

• Exercise everyday so that you have more energy and so you're not as lazy

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA (this may have worked for the first half of the year? Not sure, can't remember. Definitely not anymore though)

• Keep room substantially tidy 

Wow lmao NOPE

• Make more friends i.e. put yourself out there more and stop being a bitch to the people in the year under you. 

I think I tried, a little, but not enough. Better than before but I definitely need to work on my terrible attitude ugh yuck

• Eat healthy, don't overeat, drink plenty of water and learn to cook healthy things (eg not mi goreng) 

No, no, nope, and no.

• Restart piano and work on your diploma (practice everyday) 

This may very well be the most unsuccessful resolution of the bunch. I haven't even touched a proper piano piece for a year.

• Do more charity work, sign up for first aid classes, volunteer. 

Damn, I really wish I remembered to work on this one, but I feel like even if I did remember this, I wouldn't have had time to do any volunteering because my schedule was just constantly so damn busy.

• Don't let rejection get you down. 

Well, I think I probably got this one done pretty well. Got rejected from Saints, felt pretty shitty, but re-auditioned and it paid off. Got rejected from Kidsline, said fuck you, violently defaced the letter, and moved on. I can't remember any other rejection tales but feel free to remind me so I can take a trip down rejection avenue.

Speaking of rejection, I'd just like to add how my experiences with rejection this year taught me a couple of pretty valuable things. Sometimes, it's not even your fault you got rejected. It doesn't necessarily mean you're not good enough -- many times it's just because it's just not the right thing for you. You may not be suited for that particular thing, but there are so, so many other opportunities that you can take full advantage of that you  may find a lot more fulfilling. Other times, rejection is just an encouragement for you to reflect and change what you did wrong, and try, try, try again. If you don't get a second chance at that specific thing, at least you can take what you could possibly improve on and use it for future reference. Rejection isn't an end, my lovelies-- it's just the beginning.

• Grow taller, skinnier, boobier. 

Oh, I take it back. This one was definitely the most unsuccessful.

• Make the most out of 2012 :)

You know what, I think I did! I think that the extracurriculars I signed up for made me unintentionally focus on this resolution, and help me develop my person and teach me important life crap. Debating and netball umpiring forced me to be confident in self-assured, even if I wasn't. Choir was great for teamwork and proving that I could have time management skills if I forced myself to. I won't bore you with what I learnt through everything else like shakespeare, brain bee, chinese dance group, peer mediation, netball, speech and drama, pilates (lmao don't think this counts) and finally learning how to swim since I'm sure you get the point. I think that getting the top English prize is something I'm allowed to be proud of, as well as getting distinction in my speech and drama grade 6 exam, winning silver and best maori piece at choir nationals, learning how to swim, and my work on my art board. In terms of things that aren't awards, I think although I didn't get great marks in mocks, I've finally learnt my lesson after finals, and I'm ready for what IB (and 2013) wants to throw at me. 

Well, that's last year, I guess. Onwards to this year! My 2013 resolutions are... (drumroll):

• Don't look down upon anyone or have prejudices towards people because of appearance, status, or the people they hang out with. I hate it when people treat me as inferior, so what gives me the right to treat others the same way? Treat everyone equally with kindness and a good nature.
• Learn to prioritise - your tumblr and the amount of tumblr followers you have will in no way benefit you at all in 5 years time, so why spend your valuable sleeping time on updating your blog? Put school first, as year 12 is the most important year for college applications and you seriously cannot forget that.
• Be willing to help others and go out of your way to help them, but in saying this, don't sacrifice your own grades or health for it. Stop selfishly hiding your good work to yourself because of your fear of others stealing your work and taking credit for it. (Just so you know, I have this 'fear' because it's already happened once before). IB requires you to be able to share your knowledge with your classmates so that you can all help each other to study.
• Arrive early at school, every day, so it becomes a habit. Quarter past eight. Being late three out of five times every single week makes you look extremely disorganized, and also, it's embarrassing that Mrs Wong already knows you by name.
• Go to bed at 11pm-ish every night. Even on weekends. Good sleeping habits will positively affect your schoolwork, attitude, skin, and like, everything else in life.
• All 7's in All Exams. Don't leave studying to the night before your exam. CMON VICKY YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER 
• Read books that will change your life and your views of the world.
• Exercise everyday for at least half an hour (oh yes I am bringing this motherfucker back)
• (one especially for the holidays) Get up before 11am four out of seven days a week

And, finally, of course, make the most out of 2013!

what am i doing with my life

warning: long fucking post ahead.

and then this happened...

 

 

HUUUEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(what am i doing oh god)

so, on Wednesday, Meilin and I met up with Ben, Kelly and Bryan to go to that pier place next to Parnell Baths (its called judges bay i think). Before that though, me and meilin bussed to parnell cathedral where we were supposed to meet Ben. Buuuut he wasnt there, so he texted us saying to make our way over to the pier and he'd meet us along the way.

that would've been fine if Meilin actually had any sense of direction.

So, we went a completely different direction and walked for about 10 minutes before we found out and then we had to walk all the way back (Tbh it wasnt actually that far but it was REALLY SUNNY and hot at the time so i was bitching the whole way).

actually tbh i cbf explaining this day to whole detail so i'll bullet point it

• went to bens house  front door on the way to destination
• his dog is a HUGE ball of fluffiness and is fucking adorable. like HUGE.
• i'm semi allergic to fur tho so i was like errrrrrkkk. also, the dog was big and i am a pussy
• but it was really cute
• walked to judges bay, decided to go to parnell baths instead cuz the water looked rank
• stayed at parnell baths for like, 20 minutes. bought food. 
• that day i had my hair like: 
•  (but it was nowhere near as pretty)
• and i used a hairtie to tie it at the back but when i pulled out the hairtie to go swimming, it was completely knotted up and WOULD NOT LET GO OF MY HAIR. srsly. bryan and kelly both took turns on untangling it. i spent a full 10 minutes trying to get it out. FUCKING RIDICULOUS
• when i finally got it out (ugh so embarrassing) there was just this strange knot of hair dangling hahaa
• btw later when i got home and finally brushed it out that whole bunch of hair just got ripped out by my brush
• ugh usually my hair behaves so well ffffff
• why am i posting so many bulletpoints about hair
• okay anyway
• ben and meilin went to make out somewhere and kelly and bryan swam away somewhere so i was just all by my lonesome for a while
• and then i was like where da fuq is everyone
• so i went back to the lockers and everyone was there and i was like -__- WTF SRSLY
• then we decided to go to judges bay
• NOW LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING BOUT JUDGES BAY.
• http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10779897

"Warning signs have popped up on Judges Bay Beach, in Parnell, after water quality tests this week found an extremely high concentration of the bacteria enterococci."

"Judges Bay Beach has recently recorded a result of 1600 enterococci per 100ml. A beach deemed safe will have a sample reading of less than 140 enterococci per 100ml, while one deemed unsafe will have a reading of more than 280 enterococci per 100ml." 

• FUCKING. EW.
• AND I ACTUALLY SWAM (well, doggie paddled) QUITE A BIT IN THAT CESSPOOL OF SHIT COMPARED TO HOW MUCH I'D HAVE SWAM IF I WENT TO, LETS SAY, MISSON BAY.
• why? because we had  to swim out onto one of these wooden platform things
• and the distance we had to swim to get to the one we went on was a bit more than the length that freddie swam in that scene^
• AND I CANT FUCKING SWIM
• and since i was the fifth wheel that day, as i was painfully drowning away in enterococci (i didnt know about the health risk shit until today btw) no one came to my aid cuz the two couples were too busy being all coupley and shit
• ben and meilin were laughing at me though
• those fuckers
• srsly u dont know how freaky it was for me though. i nearly had a panic attack when i was smack bang between the land and the platform because i had to keep swimming since there was nowhere to go and was just surrounded by water and i felt so helpless and weak and ugh 
• and my favourite pair of sunglasses broke on the way cuz i forgot to take them off :(
• got to the platform eventually
• both couples started making out
• i felt very single
• sat in my sad little single corner
• everyone else ended up leaving the platform so we had it to ourselves and whenever someone would try to come on, meilin would stand in front of the ladder bit hahahahaha and if they kept trying to get on she was like 'oh sorry' and moved. 
• and whenever someone looked like they were heading our way it was like GO PDA GO GO GOOOO
• we eventually swam back to shore (UGH AGAIN) and btw i swallowed the water and now i feel like there is poison and disease coursing my bloodstream ewwwwww
• got changed
• took the bus to city
• went to this korean restaurant
• my first proper time eating korean food excluding dinners at joannas house
• i got a bibimbap (only cuz it was one of the few non-spicy things on the menu) and couldnt pronounce it and ben gave me shit about it
• decided i dont really like korean food (probably because i cant handle any spicyness at all, and without spicyness then whats the point of korean food?)
• kellys mum came into the restaurant out of nowhere
• we were all like holy shit what the actual fuck HOW DID SHE KNOW WE WERE HERE
• finished food
• said bye and i bussed home

omg im sorry i don't know how to accurately use bulletpoints haha. i just like it cuz it means i can write short sentences.

despite the complaining ^, it was a pretty alright day. although next time if i'm invite to that sorta shindig where i'm the fifth wheel i dont think i'd go.......

&& on tuesday (i think it was tuesday) my brother took me out driving YAY!

I KNOW YOU GUYS HAVE MISSED MY DRIVING ADVENTURES :DDD

according to my brother if i took my restricted test right now i'd probably fail lmao i'm not surprised. it's just because i'm not confident enough behind the wheel and IF I HAD MORE PRACTICE THAT WOULDN'T BE AN ISSUE NOW WOULD IT ???

he taught me how to properly reverse into shit like driveways, three point turn and attempted to teach me how to parallel park.

i thought i was pretty shit at reversing but he said i was good so i just left it at that. three point turn was a piece of cake. parallel parking was a BITCH.

seriously all the wheel spinning and the neck craning and the angles..... -______-

i bumped onto the kerb about 8 times.

didnt crash into the cars though (Y) but i hope the owners of the cars didnt see me trying to parallel park between their cars because I'd probably give them an anxiety attack....

drove all the way to mt wellington to pick up Amy from her work and my brother told me to drive back as well but i wasn't keen on the chance of being caught and getting demerit points and a fine  so i didnt :/

Amy suggested my bro, her, my mum and I go out to dinner

.......and sooooo we did

went to Mecca in the city and lemme tell you how uncultured I am.

that was the first european restaurant i had been to. excluding La porchetta, archies and the italian restaurant i went to in shanghai (doesnt count.... idt)

yeah. i know right?! SHOCKING.

We got an antipasto (rofl my mum was like WHY ARE WE PAYING SO MUCH FOR A PLATE OF FOOD THAT IS JUST RANDOMLY THROWN TOGETHER) and for main I got a fucking nice steak with potato gratin, zuchinni, portebello mushrooms and caramelized onions. OHMYLORD IT WAS SO GOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!

hahaha previously when the waiter came to us with our drinks she was like "apple cider?" and i raised my hand thinking she meant apple juice but she and both Amy and my bro gave me this weird look and I was like OH WAIT LOLZ ITS ALCOHOL AND FOR MY BROTHER.

my brother drinks girly drinks HAHA.

aaaaaaaaaand on thursday i went to go watch sherlock holmes 2 in town with Marcia.

ohmygod the movie ending is so good!!! i was sitting there like :O "I CANT BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED". 

just.... mind fuck.

then we went around window shopping and she was my bumgirl most of the time waiting outside my changing room hanging my clothes back on the hangers hahahahaha. I SAW THIS REALLY CUTE DRESS IN VALLEYGIRL THAT I REALLY REALLY WANTED AND WAS GOING TO BUY but then i decided not to and with the little amount of self-control i had, walked out the store.

.... only to check my eftpos balance at an atm and realise i didnt have enough money for the dress anyway.

i wont tell you how much money i have in my account right now but let me tell you.

it is BAD.

i really really didnt expect it to be that low since I only actually started using the card again in November to get birthday/xmas gifts but DAMN IT IS BAD. a whole year and a half of savings used up in 2 months. dammmmn..........

I, VICKY XU SWEAR THAT I WILL NOT USE ANY MORE MONEY FROM MY EFTPOS FROM THIS DAY ON UNTIL NOVEMBER UNLESS IT IS AN ACTUAL LIFE/DEATH EMERGENCY. I WILL ONLY DEPOSIT MONEY INTO THE ACCOUNT BUT I WILL NOT EXTRACT FROM IT. THIS WORKED LAST YEAR AND IT WILL WORK AGAIN. NO TOUCHING THE BLUE EFTPOS CARD, COMPRENDE? 

does anyone know of any job openings? :(

let's reflect, shall we?

So, it is officially 2012. Happy New Year everybody!!!! I hope you guys had a good last day of 2011. I'm not sure how to categorize mine. I guess it was pretty entertaining for the most part haha.

But before I get onto that, I'm gonna do resolutions!

Last years were....

• Learn how to swim and bike

..... well, I guess I kinda learnt how to bike. I still can't do 25m of swimming (ha).

• Spend less time on the computer

nope.

• Eat healthy stuff instead of junk as much as possible.

I had phases where I was super healthy, so this was half done.

• Drink lots of water.

same as above. phases of superhydration. been drinking lots of water lately actually.

• Study in the holidays.

HA. nope.

• Tidy room often, instead of leaving mess in room, and having it build up.

LOL. nooooooooooo.

• STOP ASKING FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD.

hey actually, i achieved this!! woohoo!!! yeah, I still do it from time to time but it's a lot less often.

• COMPLAIN LESS!!!!!!!!!!!

....eh.

• BLOG MORE!!!

..... eh? I guess?

• EXERCISE EVERYDAY!!!!!! (... i don't know why it suddenly all got capitalized)

this worked for quite a long while in the beginning of the year. then winter came and I cbf doing anything and now it's summer again so I might start this up. It was going really well though. I actually exercised for an hour everyday. :O

• Save money and use eftpos only for emergencies

THIS WENT SO WELL!!!!!!!!! .... that is, until November and December when everyone's birthdays came up and I had to buy Christmas presents. I actually didnt even touch my eftpos for 10 months though!! GO ME!!

• GO TO BED BEFORE 12AM EVERYNIGHT

nope.

• .... grow :(

..... nope :(((((((((

okay, this years resolutions....

• All Excellences in both examinations (that means studying in the holidays....)
• Get a job and keep it so you have a steady income
• Stop waking up after 12pm during the holidays cuz you waste your break away (this means not going to sleep at 5am every night!)
• Save money and use eftpos only for emergencies and gifts maybe.
• Exercise everyday so that you have more energy and so you're not as lazy.
• Keep room substantially tidy
• Make more friends i.e. put yourself out there more and stop being a bitch to the people in the year under you.
• Eat healthy, don't overeat, drink plenty of water and learn to cook healthy things (eg not mi goreng)
• Restart piano and work on your diploma (practice everyday)
• Do more charity work, sign up for first aid classes, volunteer.
• Don't let rejection get you down.
• Grow taller, skinnier, boobier.
• Make the most out of 2012 :) 

boxing day

lack of presents TOTALLY made up for today!!!!!
it was like a friggin battlefield in cotton on and factorie.

in total, today i got:

• $20 SHOWER RADIO (woohoo $10 cheaper!!!!), bond and bond
• $15 white jumper, cotton on body (fave!)
• $10 pink jumper, factorie
• $10 pinstripe shorts, cotton on
• $10 tangerine + white striped top, cotton on
• $8 pink racerback singlet, kmart
• 2 x $3 strings of fairy lights!!!!, kmart
• $10 nail buffer, kmart
• Free, 2x stripy socks (with the toe things!), aussie sox (i went up to say hi to sueyeons dad and he gave me socks and i was like OH NO DONT PLEASE ITS OKAY, DONT WORRY, MERRY XMAS but he forced them upon me hahaha)
• 2x $1.90 reese's peanut butter cups

isjdflksja;dfksadfsdf $92.80 worth of stuff. usually i can only really buy 2 or 3 items of clothing for $89 so YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this post is really for my own benefit hahahaha

last night, i swear someone spiked my drink or something cuz i went soo so high when i was playing monopoly with my fambam. i literally started laughing so hard (for no reason) that i was crying and near-pissing myself and it lasted like, 2 minutes. and the i lied on the floor with my head under the xmas tree staring at the flashing lights. yeah.

pretty sure someone slipped me some weed.

also MY FUCKING BROTHER STOLE JERUSALEM FROM ME AND TRADED IT WITH MY MUM AND I DIDNT REALISE TILL THE END OF THE GAME AND THEN WE (JOKINGLY) YELLED AT EACH OTHER FOR A FULL 5 MINUTES UNTIL MY DAD YELLED AT US TO STOP. 

how were everyones boxing day sales? :)

2011

I think I can safely say that 2011 has been the best year I've had so far.

I guess there have been other good years - Year 6 and 5 hold lots of great memories for me. I can't really remember anything except for odd random memories from before Year 4. There were aspects in Year 7 that were kind of horrible for me: I didn't like MRIS at all and thought my time was being wasted at school everyday since I never actually learnt anything and the extracurriculars were shit, etc. The friends were alright, even though I'm not close to any of my old friends there anymore. Year 9 form class was pretty lame cuz we didn't even know each other. I got close with Jade and Maria and Maggie and stuff in Year 9 though, which was pretty good. I loved social studies and maths class in Year 9 - not the subjects, but the class environment, yknw?

Well, first reason why this year rocked: I've had a great class who I've gotten so close to, and I'm basically friends with everyone and a lot of them are just such awesome people who I think I'll continue being friends with even if we're in different classes next year. Sure, we won't be as close, but hopefully we'll still say hi in the corridors or something. It's been one of my favourite classes I've had. Year 9 was pretty shit because our class just didn't know each other and I can barely remember who was actually in my class. I guess I really don't want that to happen next year in Year 11 since our intake will be split up, but I really really wish we didn't have to change classes and destroy the friendships we made this year. This is basically the main reason I don't want this year to end. I've made so many new friends in a lot of my classes - not just my form class. But yeah, my form class is close and I genuinely think my form class is the best one in our year level. We've got the best people (no bitches or overly-socially retarded people) and we're really tight, unlike a couple of other intakes, so I think I was really lucky to get into Intake 1.

Second, my teachers this year have been the best. (In fact, I should be doing my xmas cards to them atm but I got distracted with checking my blogspot, then seeing winnie's post, then deciding to write a blog post cuz I am a emotional teenage motherfucker with a lot of feelings). My xmas cards are pretty much going to be the same for all of my teachers, even though everything I say for each of them would be completely genuine. I really have learnt so much and I've got pretty good relationships with my teachers this year, albeit a couple of them are still pretty intimidating (cough Mr Howe). I mean, I got really good marks in my end of year exams (all E's!!!) and everythings been going shitgood. I've enjoyed all my subjects and I wouldn't mind at all having the same bunch of teachers next year (yes, even maybe the certain science teacher if it meant I got to have the same teachers in all my other subjects). I really hope I get Mdme Morton again next year cuz French was so fun this year, and I learnt so so so much in English - more than I ever have in other years. Our Art class was so much chill than all the other Art classes and everyone just cracks lame jokes and we all talk about vampire diaries across the room while Mr Ball just does our artwork for us hahaha.

Then, I've got my 'asian' group at school, who (from my perspective) haven't had too much drama this year. I mean, for me, at least. Year 9 was kinda shit cuz me and Joanna were fighting and estranged from each other for the whole year and I had way too many caps lock arguments with a couple of people over facebook haahha. One aspect that sucked about this year was that so many people from our group changed schools (Reb, Rach, Ding....), and next year even more people are leaving (Aimee, possibly Meilin), but the people that left only left in Term 4 so it didn't impact on the year much. And plus I've been seeing them so much these couple of weeks cuz of all the birthday parties people have been having. I know that for some people they've been having a shit time this year regarding friendship drama, and I also know some people who hated last year cuz of friends excluding them/bullying them, and so this year has been waaay better for them.

I'm feeling really melancholic about this year ending. I'm really effing looking forward to holidays and just not going to school anymore, but I just wish that once holidays finish and Term 1 2012 starts nothing changes from this year so everything could just be as good as 2011. A lot of other things have contributed on 2011 being a good year (Kah*nui, Vampire diaries lol, etc) but I have a feeling that everything next year may change. It sucks cuz I'm not allowed to talk about it with anyone so I'm just in my little corner alone suffering the waiting process by myself.....
.
.
.
....yep I'm pregnant.

.
.
.
.... Just kidding.


Here's hoping for a good  great 2012.

IMO

Glee is retarded. Just, ugh. IDK whether its just got worse or if I've just realised, but everytime I watch it and they start singing I'm just like ugh omgggg embarrasing... They just randomly break out into song and you can hear the autotune so clearly and it just doesnt sound natural and it's so awkward and I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE ARE OBSESSED WITH IT.


Sorry if I offended any gleeks out there with this post, but I'm watching it right now and Sam just started singing baby and i was like "I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!"


in other news....

Lower stomach exercises ^. do em when you wake up and right before you go to sleep. I'm going through another "I'm going to get healthy!" phase. I was actually doing pretty well until I went to China haha. So....

• Drink min. 2 bottles of water a day
• Do min. 30 minutes of exercise every day
• Be in bed by 11:30.
• No sweets or chips, but chocolate is allowed occaisonally
• Eat fruit and veges instead of other junk food as often as possible. And no greasy food from tuckshop.

Okay, seriously, everytime someone on glee does the darn hair flick, i retch out loud.

I have my dads stomach :( 

But like, to a much lesser extent. If you ever saw his belly, you'd know what I mean. It's so depressing. I have my dad's mum's calves (FML), I have my dad's eyebrows, I have my dad's lips, I have my mums eyes, I have my dad's temper, I have my mum's body shape, I have my mums feet and her hands. Je ne sais pas why I wrote all that down. 

I have  a french test on Monday. I'm so screwed.

Rachel Berry's singing voice bugs me. 

Sorry for being a bitch to you....? I can't help it for some reason. I don't actually know what's going on with me :(

IM SORRY, AND HAPPY NEW YEAR

okay, new years resolutions. I KNOW ITS SIX DAYS LATE, but i've been putting them off. Right then.

1. Learn how to swim and bike
2. Spend less time on the computer
3. Eat healthy stuff instead of junk as much as possible.
4. Drink lots of water.
5. Study in the holidays.
6. Tidy room often, instead of leaving mess in room, and having it build up.
7. STOP ASKING FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD.
8. COMPLAIN LESS!!!!!!!!!!!
9. BLOG MORE!!!
10. EXERCISE EVERYDAY!!!!!! (... i don't know why it suddenly all got capitalized)
11. Save money and use eftpos only for emergencies
12. GO TO BED BEFORE 12AM EVERYNIGHT
13. .... grow :(

So, I'm sorry for not posting since forever. I really regret not keeping a journal of China, because it was so great there, and I don't want to forget the memories. But Shanghai was HEAPS of fun! The clothes there were pretty disappointing since every shop seemed to have the exact same stuff and were still really expensive. the markets were better though, since we got to bargain and stuff. last couple of days, i got really homesick. 

YAY NEWZEALAND! :D