sorry for neglecting you

Jeez I feel like the only times I update this blog is when I'm feeling really angsty or some shit and then blurt out stupid emotional stuff.

.... which I later delete because I realise how stupid I am.

So I realised a more productive way to release pent up frustrations and anger is through a rage journal (like, a real paper journal) where I can actually use names and then burn it/destroy it later on HOW POETIC

I went to do the Motuihe volunteer work today and it was pretty good. I've decided that these things are quite nice because I always get to socialise with people I don't usually talk to, like at waiheke and at whitford. Mainly we just potted seedlings and i somehow avoided doing work that involved going out in the wind and rain woohoo

this is a really uneventful post omg sorry

batman was amazing
i started crying at joseph gordon levitt's bit at the end and then i just kept on sobbing and when the credits started to roll i could not stop and was just in hysterics crying curled up in foetal position and meilin was sitting next to me and she was crying so hard too and we were both just weeping and i actually couldn't get myself to stop and gain composure and this went on for a couple of minutes.

sat classes start tomorrow and my book hasnt arrived in the mail and im really pissed about it argh

hmmm um on the last day of school last term i went to flight of the conchords with steph, mei, and cherry. it was hilarious, of course. I'm one of those really annoying people who laugh super loud at everything and basically piss all over themselves...

uhhhh watched brave with sueyeon on the first monday of the holidays. was a really good movie! wanted to hug my mum afterwards hahaha. sueyeon then went to tonga for missionary work on wednesday which i'm so jealous of because I would LOVE to do volunteer work overseas (not missionary work though since I'm not christian and that would be weird...)

went shopping with lizzi on wednesday and went to all these different stores and felt average feels about all the dresses... and then went to valleygirl and got like 8 potential dresses HOLLA

i am the worst person to go shopping with, honestly. I take so long to get changed into them, and then decide if they're really worth it, and most of the time I just don't buy any of the 10 pieces of clothing I have in the changing room. YOLO

Thursday was my birthday, of course.

On friday I watched amazing spiderman AND ARGH ANDREW GARFIELD IS THE ULTIMATE LIFE RUINER SERIOUSLYYYYYYYYYYY i am so obsessed with him. mentioning his name to me will reduce me to fangirl tears. no joke. he is so perfect. it hurts me. i love him so much omg

went to the pediatrist on tuesday and he suggested for me to go get better sports shoes. end up in dressmart with mum and bought the shoes, two jumpers and a bag.... oops. I can't remember if the shoes were over $200 or if everything altogether was over $200 but uh yeah.

also I saw yujie there HI YUJIE

then went to go watch snow white and the huntsman with meilin and ran into emmy lmao. sigh speaking of swath, i have so many opinions over kristen stewart cheating on robert pattinson for the director of swath, mainly bcz tbh i dont think it's quite fair how everyone's just calling her a slut like wow guys how is that helping the equality between the sexes when you are just namecalling her with these derogatory, misogynistic insults and you don't really blame any shit on rupert sanders WHO HAS TWO KIDS AND A WIFE and honestly should know better...? like, yeah, kristen is to blame but it takes two to tango yknw. at least give rupert some shit too...

uhhh went to watch ted on friday of 2nd week. that shit is cray cray. 50 SHADES OF CRAY (sorry i just love that saying so much)

then i did nothing on the last week of holidays because i was supposed to do holiday homework but i really really didn't....

i really don't know why I'm blogging when I have so much to do. this weekend i was supposed to:

• study maths for graphs internal on WEDNESDAY
• finish one art final painting by tomorrow
• do my motherfucking p.e 1.4 unit WHICH IS A WHORE
• practice for talent quest
• practice for choir (nationals in wellington is in 15 days omfg!!!!!!)
• start to learn speech and drama pieces 

NOPE DONE NOTHING NONE AT ALL WOW I SUCK

art is getting so intense. we're beginning to do boards now. i really wish i didn't lose my photograms because now I have awkward spaces in my board :(

also why do I suck at time management WHYYYYYYY

also this is the song i thought i might do for talent quest however I'm pretty sure my singing teacher disapproves so now idk what song to do

also when i watched batman i spent the first 10 minutes of it sitting on the ground because I was scared there would be a shooting (and we were at the front right near the fire exit)

also did you know that 3 guys who died in the colorado massacre were protecting their girlfriends from gunfire and they literally took a bullet for them. that makes me want to cry srsly

also ball photos make me want to kms

also not looking forward to ball next year because I have no possibilities for a date, no money, no good body for a ball dress, no boobs, and probably braces....

also i'm going to fail mocks

also physics is the bane of my existance

also which subject trip/exchange should i take

also

butts

You are not special.

You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. 
You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. 



there are some people that are naturally at ease when in a situation where they are with people they don't know very well. they make friends easily. it's just... uncomplicated.

I, however, generally turn into an awkward, stumbling, im-sorry-i-think-ive-forgotten-how-to-use-words kind of mess. especially if it's someone who is 'cool' or like, intimidating idk.
at least, that's how i am when i have no support system around. but it's strange because when i do have that support system of friends - even if it is just one person- everything is so much easier and i feel so much more relaxed.

like, wow, coolest fucking story ever vicky. you're not special. this isn't a revelation.everyone feels like this, most of the time. please stop boring us.

i am boring me.


some people are hilarious in real life. and then on the internet they are just so... lost. and cringeworthy.
and then some people are hilarious online, but are ridiculously awkward in reality.

i don't even know which one is better anymore.
technologically driven society, i guess.

wow i couldn't spell technologically just then
technoligcally technoligilly technlacilly technolalalacly technadkf;adf;kly
thanks spell check
you're welcome vicky


if you're wondering why i bothered to make this incredibly pointless post
it's because i am procrastinating. as usual.

havent even started studying maths or french. at all. i'm so screwed for maths. if i don't get excellence in this internal, i can't get maths endorsed this year. fun, right?




idk sometimes i just want to curl up in a ball under my covers and just stay there for a whole day. watch the light filter in through the gaps of the curtains, then watch it fade away with the sunset.

pretty sure this is a normal feeling to get when you are a teenager.
pretty sure feeling fat is a normal feeling too.

oooooooh~~ no vicky don't bring over the pity party.
or the "you're not faaaaaat~~~" encouragers

lol please it's not a call for attention, it's an honest musing from my mind.

i am, however, feeling much more healthier lately.
(excluding today and yesterday where i got those $5 kfc lunch packs yesterday and ate a whole bag of pods and got a $5 bk whopper jr deal today shhhhhhh fuck cheap delicious food)

mondays i usually have netball practice in the morning, pilates afterschool (which starts at 4 and for the half an hour beforehand i 'train' in the school gym) and then swimming right after that.
tuesdays i sometimes have umpiring (does that count as exercise idk)
wednesdays i have badminton
saturdays i have netball

in addition to p.e. right now being horrendous since we're doing a WHOLE TERM of rogaine ugh?!

idk it's a lot more activity than i usually have. and then on days i dont have organized sport, i try to squeeze in this workout:

and according to jade this one's very good but i haven't personally tried it:

yeah you're welcome. WHEN U START FITTING IN DEM SIZE 8 JEANS U REMEMBER TO MENTION VICKY XU IN YOUR PRAYERS BEFORE BEDTIME.

got my mum to do the bootyshakin workout with me once hahaha. comedic gold. 

oh yeah, speaking of umpiring (way up there), i did my first umpiring session a week ago and wow did i feel like a bitch throughout the whole game. crushing little year 7 hearts. i think i made a girl cry.

"the whistle makes me their god" - as spoken by a certain dean winchester on a certain supernatural show.

not feeling too bad at school right now. apart from maths and maybe french I feel like I'm coping pretty well in class and all the material seems relatively easy.

nek minnit exam results??????? idk

all i know is i want that double science prize at the end of the year so sosososo bad.

(shh vicky it's not orthodox to admit your goals on the internet when everyone knows theres a slim as shit chance of you achieving them.)

YEAH FUCK YOU SOCIETY..... from vicky.

*unattractive snigger*

inside joke dw

wow is it already 1:40am? this is why i shouldn't take 4 hour naps during the day. apparently i snore when i nap. yeah, well, i probably snore when im tired and when im tired i nap SO.




i am so looking forward to this weekend.
expect pictures.

not on facebook though.


photos that are posted on facebook that shouldn't be on facebook and everyone who posts these kinds of pictures lose my respect like ~that.
(only applies to people under 18 tbh)
(and only if you're a shithole)

• photos of you blatantly posing while holding alcohol up like wow u are a hard cunt 
• photos of you macking on your boyfriend/girlfriend bro have u heard of class ESPECIALLY IF YOU'VE ONLY BEEN 'GOING OUT' FOR LIKE, 3 DAYS.
• omg speaking of that
• PEOPLE WHO POST STUPID INDIRECT STATUSES ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY "~MISS" SOME STUPID CRUSH OR LOVE THEM SO MUCH OR CHEESY SHIT THAT MAKES ME WANT TO THROW UP LIKE UGH SHUT UP
• people who send me temple run /other game requests (i am srs if i get another one of those i am looking u up in the college list and I WILL BE HIDING UNDER YOUR BED AT NIGHT)
• people in general

hehe bcz of tumblr the 'insults' #asshole #homo #bastard and #faggot all have positive connotations to me now.

wow misha collins is such an #asshole look at him fucking prancing around doing charity work in haiti who do u think u are fucking perfect human being #bastard dammit jared padalecki u are not allowed to be around babies wtf u have a baby now why would u do that ughhhhhhhhhh

wow one direction wow you are just beautiful little #faggots i hate you so much why stop stupid zayn u are a #homo stop with your blatant eye sexing with harry no wait louis why are u such a sassy piece of rainbow shit FUCK U

ok sorry i got a little carried away

how do u blog

i cant remember

i suck

wow looked back on my 'people i'd like to bang' list and am inwardly cringing

however, i think you should all check out this fine piece of talented ass.

omg i just realised that everyone who reads this blog already follows my twitter already so this is all a bit redundant...

bio exam tmrw. have done chem and english so far. pretty alright for both, not super confident but at the same time not hopeless devastated. i am so fucked for maths on thursday though ohohohooooooo

videos that are guaranteed to make you laugh, smile, and cry.

LAUGH

SMILE

CRY

I'd suggest watching the funny ones after the sad ones so you dont stay depressed forever hahaha.

stop procrastinating

RELEVANCE.