you know what's scary to think about?

the fact that in two or so more years, I will have graduated from high school.

That's terrifying.

After having 11 years of structure and consistency, what are you supposed to do once you're out of high school? Sure, you can go to university, but then once you graduate from university, then you're faced with the same dilemma.

People go through life like it's this planned routine. You're born, you go to kindergarden, primary, intermediate, high school, and all through this time, you have the luxury of someone else making your decisions - sure, it's not much freedom, but it's also not much responsibility. If your life screws up somehow when you're a kid, none of it will really be your fault. You can always blame your parents for not raising you right.

Then you graduate high school. Now what? Go to university for four years, maybe get a masters, or a doctorate, which is another four years. You're 26/27 now. Quarter life crisis?

Get a job, work 9-5 everyday. Meet someone through a mutual friend. Fall in love, get married, have 2.5 kids and buy a house.

Watch your kids grow taller, watch yourself grow older, watch your bank account sink even deeper into the negative zone.

And then one day your kids go off and live their own lives too, and your partner of 50 years will pass away and you will go to sleep at night in a too-big bed, living in a too-big house, and in those seconds before you fall asleep, you briefly wonder how your life has passed you with a blink of an eye and you wonder how you forgot about your dream to be a rockstar or a fireman or a princess or a doctor when you were 5. You think to yourself how somehow your life slipped through your fingertips and you're always just so tired and lonely and this wasn't the way it was supposed to turn out.

And lets face it, you may or may not live past your life expectancy but eventually, you succumb to old age or disease or some sort of tragedy and you're gone. Vanished, dust and part of the earth that you were once made up of. The only thing left is what others perceive of you, because it's not like you won any awards or achieved fame or fortune to leave behind.

At your funeral or your wake, people will reminisce about their favourite memories with you and they'll say "S/he lived such a full life."

But you didn't. You didn't live your full life at all.














so uh yeah i just came here to say i'm a little worried about graduating in a couple years nbd